kaze no nemui

COOLIES! it's finally going to happen, friends

Sat, 06 Jan 2007 21:20:38 GMT

the big move is happening NEXT sunday. i'm just going with the flow on this one. there's no other way to do it. if i think about it too much i may completely freak out or i may somehow cause the whole thing to flop down the crapper. i'm WAY too excited though. bryan and i have had this coming for a lonnnnnnnnnnnng time. 5 years of long distance love has been an excellent learning process for the both of us, but man....this is going to be sooooooo much better. he's right around the corner from my new place, but far enough away so that it won't be pointless for us to live separately. i got a studio apartment, in a really cool building from the 1920s. hardwood floors, a new fitness center, utilities and extended cable included in the rent *sigh* it's going to be amazing. my own space. i owe it all to bryan of course, because he's TOTALLY helping me out. now i'm just a little freaked about the job thing because i've been unemployed for about a week and i HATE it, (it'll happen, good thoughts) and leaving my tara and my family. i just have to keep reminding them that st. louis is NOT china. it is 3 hours away, and it's an easy drive, i know, i do it all the time and i still will do it all the time to see them. hopefully they'll want to come see me sometimes too, though. *hint hint tara*

annnnnnnywho. that's my life condensed right now. how is everyone out there? good?

to all the sickies, near and far

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 02:53:16 GMT

TARA! GET BETTER! this strep throat nonsense will not do! i love you? yes.

i too was sick. the throw upy kind. for two days. and then i woke up to find my car had been VANDALIZED. back window smashed to nothing...sweet little cd player...gone. my new "the fountain" soundtrack, my new josh groban cd, my priceless wind ensemble cd...gone. all of them burned cds, by the way. so lame. people who break into cars are lame. get a life. leave mine alone.

my life still rules though. i'm happy. life is amazing! so many people in my life helped me through these couple of days...and i would be LOST without them all. thank you thank you thank you. it's easy to feel blessed when you really are blessed. today, a little old german lady gave me a german penny from 1950...and then tonight, the clarinet-girls had dinner at the olive garden. our server was an awesome german guy named thomas. he told me that my "pfennig" was good luck in germany. if i have one, it means i don't have to buy the whole pub a round of drinks. SWEET!

GET BETTER TARA! HURRY HURRY!

my knee is a bulbous bouffant...BLUBBER....macadamia?

Sat, 09 Dec 2006 14:29:21 GMT

Yeah, so I totally fell UP the stairs at work last night. These are cement stairs, mind you; not so easy peasies on the kneesies. So now my left knee, (and essentially my entire left leg) is useless. Not completely useless...but it might as well be, because it takes twice as long to do anything normal i.e. get out of the car, walk down the stairs etc. Not to mention the fact that it is forty times bigger than my other knee, and gross looking to boot. Good thing everyone laughed at me, because now I know that if I ever decide to think it's funny to watch someone get hurt, I won't feel bad for laughing. Anyway. IN ADDITION to this, I am supposed to work again tonight, (i'm already at work in the library...*looks around for signs of life* helllllllooooo?) I have a final at 3:45 of all times, and oh yeah, my KNEE HURTS. Please, no pity. But if you've ever had a time like this, and I'm sure you allllll have, then just feel my pain.
I'm not being emo. I'm not saying life SUXORSCOPTER!!!111!!1111jam! I'm just saying ouch and woe, and giving live journal some useless drool to drip out of its huge, fangy mouth.

I am graduating from this horrid college life next week. Can I say that the real world has NEVER seemed more appealing? College is reeeeeeeeeeally annoying after a while. I know I know. I chose to waste 50 years of my life getting a worthless degree. It's totally my own fault. But man. There was never a worse match than me and college. I'm thankful for the opportunity, don't get me wrong, and the lovely people I've met, and a few of the classes that were actually WORTH the time, money, and effort...but I honestly cannot wait to work full time. ANYWHERE. And then...oooooooh then...to come home and not have any worthless school/busy work to distract me from LIFE. I've missed so so so much of REAL life. I've been living in a bubble. A slimey, money-sucking bubble, and I'm popping this sucker so I can have a life. A LIFE! YES!

Fri, 08 Dec 2006 21:03:53 GMT

uhmmm...yeah......AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. the end :-D

the fox that rocks

Sun, 29 Oct 2006 19:06:48 GMT

Michael J. Fox has been very vocal lately about this stem cell research amendment we're about to vote on here in missouri. and i'm glad. he's the perfect spokesperson for the issue. plus, he values both sides: i've heard him say multiple times that he completely respects the people who have moral standards that this amendment completely ignores. i think it is very wise to see both the good and the bad about stem cell research. however, in the end, the pros are going to far, far outweigh the cons, both scientifically and morally. what's worse: to let people suffering from parkinson's disease continue suffering, or to save artificially created, undeveloped embryos from tests and ultimate destruction? no one person can say either way which is worse. it's a moral dilemma that no one but God is able to figure out. humans can't solve moral dilemmas. we're just not capable of it. all we can do is try to make everyone as comfortable as possible.

i'm voting yes on amendment 2, but not because i have no worries or fears about how far researchers are willing to go with this new found freedom to create lives and then take them away....it's scary to think that if they're allowed to go this far, what will they need next to find cures for the trillions of other diseases out there? but even with that in mind, i'm voting yes because the scientific world is one that cannot remain stagnant for even a short period of time. it has to be at least 10 paces ahead to make 1 pace of progress. as long as humans exist, there will be those among us trying to ensure we keep existing.

the cardinals shat on the tigers!

Sat, 28 Oct 2006 15:50:25 GMT

that's right. the cardinals have completely won the world series. of couse when it happened i was in my car on the way home from work, while my spoiled yet amazing boyfriend was at the actual game. lame. i did hear the final pitch on the radio though, so as soon as it happened i started screaming and honking and cheering to anyone else on the road. i'm sure i seemed terribly drunk, but COME ON! they don't win the world series every year! in fact, it has been 24 years since they've won one. that's longer than i've been alive, folks. so anyway. i knew they could do it the whole time. i told anyone who would listen that they were going to win, and they did. I CALLED IT (said in steven colbert's cocky voice).

HALLOWEEN! holy ghosts i almost forgot all about it. what is everyone going to be? all you anime con ladies can use your sweet costumes (AH HEM TARA LEMME BORROW YOUR SHINIGAMI ROBE!) pwease? just kidding. i wanted to go as Monkey D. Luffy, but the boyfriend came up with that idea first, so i shouldn't steal it. i might be able to pull off Nami-san now that my hair is short...hrmmmm...i think i'll do it! i can draw a tattoo on my arm, wear some skimpy clothes, and i can swipe some free maps to carry around from the maps department in my library...YEAH! who cares if no one will know who i am except for annoying little kids who watch it on adult swim in HORRIBLE english?

now. plans. what is everyone doing? don't be ashamed if you're 35 and you're going trick-or-treating. i think that's the coolest thing ever. i don't really go to parties any more, but if i did...well...i'd go to a halloween one. tara, what are you doing? don't we always do halloween together? have you seen finding nemo? haha. i love you. i think i told you about the marching band putting on the halloween concert this year. if you're down with that, it could be a good time. could be really lame too, though. hrmm. we must do SOMEthing, that's all i know.

be sure to have fun, kids!

shallow problems have deep roots

Sun, 15 Oct 2006 19:47:15 GMT

i start my new second job tomorrow. it is really funny that i've had 3 second jobs since summer. i'm awesome, i know. this will be the one i stick with, i'm certain. jc penny is a nice place: i know people who work there, i'll start at 7 bucks an hour, and i get a 20% discount. not too shabby for a second job. plus, i'll just be selling men's clothing; not steaks, not republican party status or nra memberships, just good ol clean men's clothing. that's something i believe in! clothing the men of missouri! yay.

life is good. i'm feeling very optimistic...though i have my days when i lose all interest in the advancement of the human race. those days are pretty rare, but you have to admit, it would be nice if we could take a step back. life can be so overwhelming, and there are fewer and fewer chances to simplify it.

i can't wait to have my own cool place in st. louis. there is almost no doubt in my mind anymore that this is the right move for me. it is definitely not the easiest, but it's right. although when i think of staying here; when i think of the chance i might have to stay in my library, in my town i know so well with my family and my best friend, i get a little fuzzy. i have been independent for the past four years, but that doesn't mean i've been completely alone. granted, i won't be alone in st. louis, of course i'll be near bryan, but knowing one person in a city of over 300,000...well, it's a little daunting. plus there won't be the comfort of a large campus to shelter me from the real world.

bah, it'll be fun. i'm just such a wuss sometimes.

thinking of ways....

Mon, 02 Oct 2006 00:52:15 GMT

so i'm totally trying to ham up this birthday i'm about to have. why? well...that's what i need to figure out. why is this birthday special? i know it technically isn't that big of a deal to turn 23...but let's see if i can make it a big deal. for one, it is my last birthday as an undergrad, so...it's mildly significant in that respect. for two, it's my last birthday i'll have while living in springfield...so, there's another big dealie sort of reason. ooo ooo, and! my boyfriend is coming to see me! that's really a big deal, because he lives in st. louis, and he's in graduate school, so i will have to make sure his time here is extra special *wink wink.* i'm such a princess sometimes, but honestly, i've had some pretty crappy years already for someone my age, so i think i can justify dedicating one day to hamming it up with my loved ones and making it seem like we're the most important people ever. then we can go back to our humble lives; go back to spending each day trying to please everyone else (bosses, professors, customers) while only moderately taking care of our own needs.

ooooooooooooh wednesday will ring in the suspenseful new season of LOST. tara and i are having a big fat party to celebrate it, but the only people invited are well...myself and tara, and possibly my boyfriend, if he stays in town. aw, i'm just kidding, don't pout. i'm sure berry would love to have all her lj friends there for the occasion...seeing that some of you won't get to watch it until 9!! oooooh snap! time zones!

i would just like to say that you live journal folks are much much nicer than xanga folks. you've all been so warm and welcoming, and i thank you!

a close-knit group can help you through the day

Sat, 30 Sep 2006 14:51:13 GMT

am i weird because i enjoy the way staples come all stuck together like this? i think not. obviously i am at work on this WARM saturday morning. ick. what is this warmth? i am fully prepared for a whole host of chilly days to sink their icy fangs into my skin...and uhm...suck my blood? no no.

anyway, work. i was supposed to look "nice" today because of some shady library stuff that's goin' down, word-to-your-motha, but of course i completely forgot. my usually 40-track mind was focused on only one thing this morning, and that was getting into the starbucks...which i did, but of course they had the nastiest brew on tap today; the coffee that makes your nose scrunch when you smell it...because it's so insanely bitter. bleh. i am tolerating it because i know i'd be useless without it, but my stomach is protesting loudly. so....work....yes. i'm here. i want to take pictures of books at artistic angles, make supermodels of them, but, i am bound to this large...woody desk. until 5....hooray.

Sat, 30 Sep 2006 04:01:03 GMT

this is the most wonderful gift from the greatest best friend ever. i wish there was something i could do to make your life a little more joyful...i suppose i shall have to think of something! i love you. i think you're the strongest and most bad ass woman around for being able to hold your tongue so gracefully. i am totally lucky to call you my best friend. please don't ever forget that you can come to me no matter what.

*edit* yeah, this chair is more photogenic than i'll ever be. sad.

Fri, 29 Sep 2006 02:39:20 GMT

it has been a good day:

i've acquired a job at jc penny's
i've cried while listening to music made by me and 75 of my colleages
i've acquired some free drunken noodles from thai peppers
i've not forgotten how to laugh
i've spoken to my love not once but twice already...how spoiled am i?
i've written a bad poem
i've rubbed the sleepy gunk out of my eyes

paper lanterns are so delicately filled with fire.
veins are so carefully filled with the perfect amount of blood.
languages are so tentatively spoken by voices that are so cracked and broken.
eyes are so darkly lined by sharp pencils.
unbalanced imperfections